You know how you’re supposed to feel all refreshed, rejuvenated and inspired once a New Year starts?
And you know how you’re supposed to declare to the world your audacious goals, New Year’s resolutions, significant intentions and your ‘guiding word’ all over social media?
Well I haven’t felt refreshed and I don’t have any amazing, earth-shattering goals to share with you.
Put simply, I’ve felt stuck.
Now I know this isn’t the positive, up-beat kind of Life Coaching post I should/would usually share.
But I’ve made a deal with myself – this year I’m keeping it real.
Like really real. So I’m dedicated to share with you the good, bad and the ugly…..particularly the ugly because this is where true growth comes from.
In the spirit of ‘growth,’ this time around I’m sharing the ugly, but don’t worry, it has a happy ending!
Ok so last week I felt completely stuck, lacked clarity around EVERYTHING in my life and was so god damn confused, frustrated, annoyed, disappointed etc etc
I was ready to just give up!
Before you read the rest of the post, you may want to watch my quick video (2:27 mins) where I share more of my ‘stuck’ story. This was originally for my gorgeous ‘Great Mail’ subscribers!
But here’s what I did to get unstuck and to gain clarity:
Yes, I wallowed.
I allowed myself to feel crap, to feel stuck and to say ‘woe is me’ whilst my hand was rested on my forehead.
To be honest, I kind of enjoyed wallowing because it gave me an excuse to be lazy.
When we lack clarity and feel stuck we just tread water and swim in a sea of uncertainty…..we bob along and we simply get no where.
BUT then I gave myself a deadline.
The thing you have to remember is that feeling stuck is a feeling, it’s not a fact.
I reminded myself that this feeling was all in my head and not my reality….So I gave myself 48 hours to be confused, disconnected and then enough was enough.
I also reminded myself that this is just a phase….It’s common to lack clarity in your life and it’s not a new thing for me. I’ve felt stuck before and I always get through it….. eventually….this time it’s no different.
I got back into my meditation practice and started to feel the fog rise. If you’re not too sure about the whole meditation thing, I encourage you to read this meditation series I wrote.
Meditation is THE BEST!
I had a session with my life + business coach.
Seriously, having someone qualified and caring to discuss your state of ‘stuckness’ and uncertainty with is pure gold.
I love working with my coach Naomi Arnold and I love that she keeps me accountable and ‘unstuck!’
I scribbled frantically in my journal.
I wrote in my journal daily and sometimes over two hour stretches. To be honest, at the time I did feel like I was being unproductive but afterwards clarity started forming and the metaphoric fog was lifting even more. Journalling really is the bomb – trust me!
If you need help journaling read this and then download my free journaling guide.
I did the work.
I literally had to go back to basics with my business and revisit a whole body of work I had already completed around my branding, who I wanted to serve, what I want to offer etc……but I bit the bullet and re-did it and it served up a heap of gold and helped me to wipe off the sea spray from my sunnies so I could start to see clearly again.
I chatted with my kick-arse crew.
in addition to working with my coach, I also connected with multiple friends and colleagues who are all like-minded, inclduing my friend and coaching buddy on the Gold Coast, skyped a friend and colleague in San Francisco, shared my lack of clarity concerns with an online mentoring group I’m a part of and expressed my concerns via email to a mentor.
By opening up and saying ‘Hey, I’m stuck….what are your thoughts?’ the likelihood of you receiving valuable feedback and insight increases tremendously.
So seek out like-minded people and ask for help.
AND I dropped my expectations.
I said to myself, ‘Ainslie, you don’t have to have a crystal clear picture of your life and business at the end of 48 hours.’
All I wanted was a hint of clarity…..just a little insight into what path I should be taking….and that’s what I got. When we place so much pressure on ourselves to have all the answers and to have a list a mile long of noteworthy goals and aspirations we become even more stuck!
Loosen up, lighten up, drop your expectations and go easy on yourself.
I’m pleased to report that after working the magic formula of “Wallowing in the stuckness and THEN get shit done” I have more clarity around where I’m heading and as a result what I need to do!
I’m talking with a graphic designer about a mini-rebrand and I’m in the planning phase of an exciting photo shoot in Sydney. Plus I have some great product ideas brewing for Starting With A and some sensational collaborations in the works!
So tell me, where are you feeling stuck in your life right now and are you in the ‘wallowing’ stage or are you in the process of ‘getting shit done?’
I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below!
Also, if you haven’t already, make sure you jump on my ‘Great Mail’ list so you can stay up-to-date with my sharing of the good, bad and the ugly….as promised! PLUS, I’m in the process of putting together a great FREE resource around helping you gain Clarity + Confidence in all aspects of your life and business.
You don’t want to miss out – JUMP ON THE LIST BELOW THIS POST!