It’s been quite some time since I’ve written to you and a lot has happened around here. So I thought I’d share where I’m at, a few words on turning 2016’s ‘emotional trash’ into treasure, three things that have helped to transform my personal trash (or trauma) into treasure, and a personal invitation to work 1-1 with me in the New Year.
So why not grab yourself a cup of something and settle in, because this post is rather epic.
I’d love to say that I’m writing this update from my favourite little teahouse in my local hood. I’d envisaged myself calmly sipping some exotic tea (probably iced, as it’s still warm here), brain sharp and my fingers floating over the keyboard and ever so often I look lovingly down at my 12 week old baby as she slept soundly in the pram.
However reality = me sitting in bed, trying to stay awake to do the night time feed and reminding myself that I’d promised myself and my Facebook community that I was going to share a post…nothing like public accountability!
So here it goes…
I’m now the very proud mum of a beautiful baby girl, Xanthe (to answer your question you pronounce it Zan-thee and it means ‘Golden One’ in Ancient Greek. And no we didn’t call our baby Esmeralda as many thought we would!)
I know I’m a tad bias but Xanthe is beautiful. She has made my transition into motherhood a joy and so far I love this gig! If you read my Angry Letter to The Stork post from earlier this year you may be surprised at my take on motherhood thus far!
But don’t get me wrong, it’s not all roses.
The first three weeks were extremely difficult. I’ve been covered in poo explosions (as has my mum’s cream carpet!), hours of baby screaming with wind, very little sleep and lots of anxiety thanks to the unknowns…just the usual things that new parents face I guess!
However, as the weeks have zoomed by I’m constantly learning, adapting and growing along with Xanthe and I know everything is just temporary. So I’m making the most of the good and the bad….and there’s so much more ‘good’ to soak up.
Enough baby talk….let’s talk business!
A few weeks ago I discovered that I’d been short listed as a Finalist for the Beautiful You Coaching Academy’s Emerging Coach of The Year!
Despite a serious lack of sleep and time thanks to my little ‘golden one’ I decided to submit my nomination and throw my coaching hat into the ring. I really didn’t think I had a chance of becoming a finalist. But I wanted to challenge myself to reflect on my year and pull out all the business highlights.
This process was extremely rewarding and being shortlisted as a finalist was icing on the cake!
So the message is…always throw your hat in the ring! You’ll never know if you don’t try!
Yes you read that right – I got an oven and I feel like Martha Freaking Stewart!
Having a ‘real’ oven is a bit of a luxury in Hong Kong and the alternative is a smaller bench top oven. Unfortunately our bench space is about the size of an A4 sheet of paper…so I’ve always said an oven just isn’t feasible.
But after 2 years of trying to think of variations of meat and steamed vegetables (I’m not very imaginative…obviously) I finally got an oven…and only because my awesome friend gave me her bench top one! (If you’re wondering, I got a little trolley for it to sit on).
I know this sounds strange but just knowing I have the option of baking a cake, grilling cheese on toast or making a meal that isn’t meat and veg brings me so much joy! It kind of makes me mad I didn’t make this happen sooner.
Anyway OVEN = Amaze-balls.
I’ve heard from so many people that 2016 has been heavy.
In other words, it sucked. From illness and health concerns, tough breakups, business slowing down, redundancies and just constant challenges, it’s been rough.
If you had asked me six weeks ago how was 2016 for me I may have said it was pretty rough too. Without going into too much detail I’m actually lucky to be here after giving birth and I was quite sick after Xanthe was born, both physically and emotionally.
After some major inner work, support from my incredible family and friends and some external help I’m now able to see the priceless life lessons, and gifts…yes GIFTS, 2016 and this experience has given me.
I’m hoping that the lessons I’ve learned and re-learned which I share below may help you reframe your year so instead of seeing 2016 as a ‘shit sandwich’ you can see it full of valuable gifts that will hopefully serve you as you move into the new year.
As you’ve journeyed through this year your strength and courage have been tested tremendously. You may have experienced extreme discomfort, physical and emotional pain or you’ve been overwhelmed with fear, anxiety or stress.
But despite everything, you have drawn on your strength and courage and even if things aren’t sitting 100% pretty for you right now, you know that YOU ARE capable of overcoming any challenges that may be up ahead thanks to your resounding inner strength and courage.
YOU ARE SO UNBELIEVEABLY STRONG. Please don’t forget it.
Often when things are difficult or not going to plan we seek external advice and assistance. There is nothing wrong with this and it’s something I’ve done to help me in the last few months.
But never underestimate the power of YOU – your intuition and your soul’s knowing. Rather than wanting others’ opinions and avoiding sitting still (Hello Ainslie!), spend some time really listening and connecting to what you need and want in your life and have the guts to act on it.
I’ve found the more I try to listen to my intuition (especially as a new mum), the easier it is to tune into the inspiration, ideas and insights I have and I’m becoming more confident acting on them.
YOU have all the answers. Give yourself some credit and sit down and listen to your wise old self. You’ll be glad you did.
Whatever challenges 2016 has thrown at you, you must allow yourself time and space to work through it all. You may think that the saying ‘time heals all wounds’ is extremely annoying and insensitive and to a degree it is. But you need to be gentle with yourself.
For me, things have gotten so much easier as the days, weeks and months have rolled on.
Time does help. Try and let it be your friend…even if you’re incredibly impatient just like me!
…you may think they don’t relate to you and are a little weird …but don’t be put off! I’m sharing my ‘gifts’ to help you think ‘outside of the box’ when looking for support in finding your own treasure!
I must admit I love learning and I’m a course junkie! Shortly after Xanthe was born I saw that the brilliant Amy Taylor-Kabbaz of Happy Mama was running her Reconnect Program.
At the time I was feeling overwhelmed with my new role as a mum and all the responsibilities that go with it. Plus, I was having a lot of trouble seeing my value and coming to terms with a new identity.
It’s such a shock going from an extremely independent, capable, and ‘free’ woman to changing nappies, making up bottles, not being able to string a sentence together thanks to sleep deprivation and carrying around a bag half the size of your body full of baby stuff every time you go out!
But I knew I had to nip these feelings in the bud ASAP and equip myself with all the right ‘emotional tools’ so I could leap into motherhood with as much gusto as possible. And this 40 day online program allowed me to do this.
I now have an amazing self-care practice that includes kindness, strength, grace, trust, value and mindfulness. I’ve been able to reframe a lot of my negative thoughts about myself and motherhood, and truly ENJOY my baby and my extremely important and valuable role as a mother.
What an incredible gift Amy has given me!
Did you just cringe reading those words? I know, I know….sounds kinda weird and maybe a bit gross, but trust me, this workshop was so enlightening!
I spent a lovely Saturday afternoon with my friend and Female Embodiment Practitioner, Corinne Konrad Calder of Raw and Rich, learning how we can harness the power of our monthly cycles rather than see it as a burden and constantly flight against it!
I don’t know about you, but I think I’m Superwoman and that I should function at a super high level ALL. THE. TIME! I had a linear view of life and functioning. But not anymore!
Thanks to Corinne I now understand how our female bodies move through a cycle, which includes very different phases (or seasons) and how I can interact with them to live a more easeful life. WINNING!
I have a framework of how I can structure my social activities, business, family life and exercise….and yes, I really NEED to REST during my ‘moon time’ in order to get the most out of the entire month.
This workshop was such a gift for me. I have had so many people, from loved ones to multiple health professionals’ tell me I must rest but I don’t listen because to me, it’s just ‘standard advice’…and I don’t really like ‘resting.’ But what I’ve learned in Corinne’s workshop has clicked as it’s unique to me and my body and I’m definitely taking it onboard!
If you’re in Hong Kong I’d encourage you attend Corinne’s workshops. And if you’d like to deepen your knowledge in this area I highly recommend Claire Baker’s new eBook ‘Adore Your Cycle.’ It’s brilliant and I read it in one sitting!
My final ‘gift’ was a private kinesiology session with the beautiful Kerry Rowett of Awaken Kinesiology.
After Xanthe’s birth I had great difficulty falling asleep. Even closing my eyes was an extreme struggle and made me feel very anxious and uncomfortable. Not ideal!
I did see a psychologist in Australia a few times, which helped me deal with some of the post traumatic stress symptoms I was carrying around. But the issues with falling asleep and just closing my eyes continued and I knew I had to clear this trauma from my body before the year was over.
Thankfully Kerry was able to help me release the energetic blocks in my body, which were related to shock and panic after the birth. She also helped me dive deeper into blocks around my business and self-worth, which was also incredible.
Kerry’s work is powerful. I can report that even during the session I easily closed my eyes and that night I was able to meditate AND fall asleep without any issues! I physically felt lighter, more optimistic and a sense of calm ran through my body.
This is exactly how I want to feel going into the New Year! I’m really pleased I trusted my intuition and sought out Kerry. I knew time wouldn’t heal me and I had to try something different in order to get the results I wanted…and it worked!
On reflection, MY ACTIONS are also a major factor as to why I can see the treasure in 2016 and pull out the glittering gems of ‘life lessons.’I knew that I had to deepen my knowledge in certain areas of my life, (and implement it), and seek specific support to help me get back on track and loving life again. And yes, I’m loving life more than ever!
If so, I have TWO coaching spots available to start late January/Early February.
I focus on helping my clients get really clear on how they want to feel and how they want their life to look, and then we make it happen through cultivating killer confidence and implementing simple, yet effective self-care practices.
You can learn more about my coaching offerings here or just shoot me an email and we can organise a Skype chat and you can ask me any questions!
If you’ve managed to get to the end of this post, thanks for sticking with me! I hope my countless words help you find your own treasure amongst the trash that 2016 has thrown at many of us.
So hang in there and remember that YOU are AWESOME!
Hugs and High Fives,
Ainslie x
