In this article you will learn how I reframed ‘failure’ plus you’ll gain some ‘behind the scenes’ insight into my own launch assessment of the Feminine Business Mastermind.

More specifically, you’ll learn the 3 Step Neuro Linguistic Programming feedback process, plus the additional (more embodied) step that I added on for extra punch, which will provide you with the perfect feedback combination of head and heart, masculine and feminine, strategy and spirit!

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My Feminine Business Mastermind didn’t go to plan.

Yes, I did have wonderful women sign up. But not enough… so unfortunately I won’t be running it in September.

Why am I sharing this?

Because I feel it’s important to share when we don’t achieve our goals or hit our targets.

I also believe in reframing ‘failure.’

You may view my Feminine Business Mastermind as a failure.

I failed to get the number of enrolments I needed to make it work.

I failed to earn the income I had projected.

I failed to bring my vision to life.

And do you know what? For a week or so, this is what I thought and what I felt.

Failure with a capital ‘F.’

However, recently I went to a one day workshop on Neuro Linguistic Programing (NLP). This is a body of work I’ve been interested in for a while now, especially with my psychology background.

One of the NLP  ‘success’ beliefs’ I learned was “There is no such thing as failure – only feedback.”

When I heard this, my attention sharpened and my heart opened…..I really liked this reframe and the specificity of the feedback model.

I immediately thought “Aha! I can use this myself!”

I had already done a review of my launch and the Feminine Business Mastermind as a product.

And although this model is designed to provide feedback to others, I wanted to do my review again using this new model I had learned.

You see failure implies judgment whereas feedback provides a solution.

This feedback model is effective because it allows you to change your state (your mindset), which then changes your behaviour, followed by changing your results.

Here’s a quick snapshot of the actual feedback model:

  1. You provide the person with feedback ASAP regarding the specific behaviour. This is because the unconscious mind responds best to immediate feedback as it links the feedback to the behaviour.
  2. You then tell them exactly what they did well. It’s important to be specific and use sensory based terms regarding the behaviours that worked.
  3. You then share what they could do even better next time. You identify some improvements or highlight what they could do differently in the future.

Apparently in step 3 it’s important to make no reference to what didn’t work. By doing this you’re actually training the unconscious mind to hone in on the positive behaviours, which helps to reinforce the feedback and change behaviour.

Ok, so here’s how I applied the 3 Step Neuro Linguistic Programming feedback process with an additional Embodied element to my own work, specifically the launch of the Feminine Business Mastermind:

1. Provide feedback ASAP

Because of the lag between the end of my launch and when I attended the workshop, this wasn’t possible. However, I don’t think having some time to ‘let the dust settle’ was a bad thing in my case. The space allowed me to detach myself from the outcome.

2. What I did well

In my original review I had actually written a header in my notebook “Wins/What I did well.” So I WAS on the right track when it came to the NLP model!

Here are a few of the things I did well in my launch:

3.  How I can improve for next time:
  • Give myself ample space in between promotional activities (I came straight off the back off promoting and running my Feminine Leadership in Business Day Retreat in HK).
  • Prioritise the promotion of the most important offer for my business (the one that will generate the most income), and calibrate my body to this,
  • Have more structure when it comes to the launch – really lean into the masculine structure and framework that I’m usually great at, + Enhance my visibility using video,
  • Become addicted to certainty… certain that the mastermind will run next time around.

Can you see how these points above are framed in the positive?

Originally I had points like this….”Wasn’t visible enough. Did not use enough video content.”

The unconscious mind can’t process words like “not, can’t, won’t and don’t.” That’s why it’s crucial when communicating with the unconscious mind that we rephrase our words to exactly the way we want things. Eg. “Enhance my visibility using video.”

4.  The Embodied Element

So this is my embodied addition to the NLP feedback framework.

As a part of this element I did a moving meditation and liberated any threads of tension in my body.

This helped me to really drop out of my head and connect with my body and my intuition.

From there I took some time to sit in stillness and dropped the question “What would you have me know?” into my body.

I let my body respond (rather than my head).

My body responded with ‘Trust in divine timing. Everything will work out. It wasn’t the right time.”

And this is the feeling I had throughout the whole launch period. I desperately wanted to devote myself to my mastermind and the launch but I had this niggle that it wasn’t the right time.

And it wasn’t.

I was actually unwell during the launch (my body was sending me signals!) and there were things happening on the home front that were diverting my energy and attention.

My body just didn’t have the capacity to hold space for this offer right now.

And do you know what?

Now that I have looked at the feedback through a variety of different lenses; mind and body, the feminine and masculine, business strategy and my soul, I feel much more content and positive about the outcome.

If I hadn’t have bothered to take the time to do some self-enquiry and overall strategy analysis, I could’ve felt really miserable and defeated.

Thankfully I now feel more positive about future launches and I’m grateful that I had this experience to really shine a light on my internal and external processes.

Our ability to tap into both our heads and hearts is crucial when it comes to leading in our businesses. We can no longer solely rely on our brains and strategy and hope these masculine qualities will provide us with all the answers and a direction forward.

The truth is, once we combine our masculine strengths with our body’s internal felt senses (the feminine depth) we can start to pull together a more holistic and truly representative picture of what is going on in our businesses.

I hope my personal ‘reframe on failure’ and my application of this Feedback Model helps you to take a more balanced, wise and self-compassionate approach when you next wish to assess a project in your own business.


And if you’d like 1:1, high level support around working with a more embodied approach to partnering with your business, I currently have availability for a small number of committed leaders in my NEW Private Mentoring + Coaching Program – Feminine Embodiment + Leadership in Business. 

This experience is for the leader who desires to tap into their body’s wisdom and to switch hustle and grind with pleasure AND productivity, leading to a sustainable and wildly successful business.

To learn more, I’d love to invite you to book a free call with me HERE .


 Ainslie x