We all have one – an Inner Critic, an Ego or Inner Mean Girl.
Your Inner Mean Girl is always present. She likes to keep you small, express constant criticism and loves to remind you that you’re not enough.
She loves to disapprove and boss you around, saying things like “You SHOULD do this and you DIDN’T do that.”
“What’s wrong with you? You’re so hopeless!”
“Why can’t you ever get your sh^t together? Everyone else can!”
Your inner mean girl can be down right vicious.
She is insensitive and she loves to judge and tease you. This persistent negative voice is focused on being involved in every aspect of your life and thrives on holding you back.
Your mean girl is responsible for bringing on anxiety and feelings of shame. She loves to constantly fill you with doubt and takes great delight in causing chaos in your mind.
To put it bluntly, she is a bitch!
I thought it was important to shine a light on your ‘Mean Girl’ as a number of my clients (and myself!) battle with her everyday.
She seems to play a significant role in all of our lives, and often it’s not a positive one!
My Mean Girl ruled my life for far too long.
I will even say that my Mean Girl made herself present in primary school!
I put so much pressure on myself as a little kid to achieve, achieve, achieve it was ridiculous.
I would keep myself small by pretending I was sick every Friday so I didn’t have to do the weekly spelling test (even though I knew I could spell everything perfectly).
I made myself physically sick the night before my first school swimming carnival because I was scared I wouldn’t do well (even though I did swimming squad twice a week and I was an excellent swimmer).
I ran off the Eisteddfod stage crying in year 2 because I was embarrassed that my rendition of singing ‘Rubber Ducky’ was quite horrendous and I thought my life was over!
I’m sure I’m painting a terrific picture of me as a kid! Lol
My Mean Girl still vocalises her opinions.
I’ll bash myself up for not getting as much work done as I hoped (she tells me I’m lazy).
Or I’ll get scared every time I go to press ‘publish’ on a blog post (she tells me I’m a fraud and I have nothing of value to share).
I’ll get angry with myself when I don’t exercise (she tells me I’m a lazy cow and then I feel guilty and down right crap).
As females, we have a lot going on and the last thing we need is self-destructive thoughts and self-sabotaging choices.
But the good news is, getting ‘up close and personal’ with your inner critic or mean girl helps you to deeply understand yourself.
By being aware of your Mean Girl and getting to know her, you will start to gain clarity around your thoughts, feelings and behavior.
I mentioned before that your Mean Girl is always present and she manifests in a number of different ways.
Read below and see what resonates with you:
- You start to question yourself and your ability, even around trivial things
- You can’t make a decision
- You find your energy levels falling
- You’re feeling stuck or bored with life
- You feel like a total fraud and you’re scared you’ll be found out
- You obsess over things and you’re a constant worrier
- You always feel guilty and as a result you find ways to punish yourself
- You are constantly comparing yourself to everyone, and you never measure up
- Your achievements never seem good enough
- You know you play small life in life and fear gets in your way
- You’re in constant judgement mode – of yourself and others
- You set ridiculously high standards for yourself and have perfectionistic tendencies
- You always think about the past, continually focus on the future and never live in the present moment
Were you furiously nodding as you read through the list?
Don’t worry – I was!
To take this awareness to a deeper lever, I’ve created a great Worksheet for you to download and print out.
I want you to take note of when your Mean Girl pops up in your daily life and what she says to you.
Don’t worry, it may seem a little overwhelming, but I promise you that this exercise is enlightening and WILL BE EMPOWERING!
Just hang in there!
This is a small but powerful exercise which is the first step to freeing your mind from limiting thoughts that keep you small in life (and far from the extraordinary person that you are!).
I would love for you to do the exercises over the next week and in the second part of this series I’ll show you how you can soften your Mean Girl’s voice and even become friends with her!
I would love for you to share with me in the comments below, how does your Mean Girl show up in your life?